Happy New Year

We Live Here Now

(Even if we don't know where 'here' is)

"There is nothing that cannot happen today."

Unknown

One of the last and most beautiful sunsets of 2024. 

I will be twenty-eight this year. Next month, it'll be exactly one year since I last heard my mother's voice. My MA module website is opening in four days. How ready am I to be a proper student again? Very ready and also completely terrified about the prospect of having my effort be under the academic microscope again. I'm studying at O.U (Open University, U.K). It's the university that produces the highest number of CEO's in the United Kingdom, and one of only two U.K universities to have Middle States Commission Accreditation in the U.S. I'm also the first Samoan on this scholarship scheme (Commonwealth Distance Learning Scholarship), and second Pacific Islander ever. So, no, I'm definitely not under any pressure right now. 😂

Recently all kinds of excessively cool stuff has happened for me. I know. I'm still not halfway through telling the story of my U.S trip. Oh well. Life happens. Every interim is also a hectic precipice at which some other great thing is happening. We are just voyagers. We only come so far on our own skill. It's the waves, the tides, the winds that move and shake and shape our courses. And thank heavens for those! Sometimes going straight is going the wrong way. I'm a product of so many off-course journeys. Detours. We are all part of this great accidental plan. 

I'm a new Commonwealth Correspondent for the YourCommonwealth Youth blog. First Samoan to be in this space. I'm the official Samoan ambassador for Space Kidz India's all-female lunar satellite project, Mission ShakthiSAT. Another first for Samoa and Polynesia. We did CHOGM and the Commonwealth Youth Forum in October. I got to lead the drafting of the new youth declaration's opening pillar. 2024 was a year of firsts. Dark humor irony: the only thing that wasn't a first was losing an immediate family member. I've lost five so far! In order: my brother Gabriel, my sister AngelRose, my adopted brother Sabbath, my Dad, and now my mum. Also, because extended family tend to be just as close as nuclear ones in the Pacific,  I lost my grandma just after my dad, and that was VERY painful. VERY! All I can say now is this: being first is not easy. This is probably why we honor "firsts". Human culture is obsessed with initiation, with discovery, with pioneer-ism. 

This year my brother Daniel is finally getting his Bachelor's Degree from Monash University in Melbourne. He's going to be the first grandson on both sides of our families (our parents' siblings and first cousins) to graduate from an international university. I will never understand how he manages to be so resilient and also so composed. He never says too much. Never does too much. Some days I wish he was my older brother. He's calm. Cool. Ah, well. Perhaps my overly loud manner is good in its own way. It gets things done, and that's about ninety percent of what being an eldest/first child is about in the Pacific. The ten percent is about taking the blame when things don't happen. I'm still struggling with both. But who isn't? 

In this new year, I am hoping to see more miracles but also to be more kind- to others, and to myself. To say yes to blessings and also say "not now" when I simply can't take anything else on. I'm a chronic people- pleaser. And a workaholic. It'll take some time to learn to step back in that way. But as I inch closer to thirty (oh my Lord😳), I know that I need to start investing rest and peace in my mind and body if I want to live longer than my parents did. I owe it to myself to see sixty and seventy and beyond, and if I ever have children of my own, I'll owe it to them to make sure they don't end up orphaned like my brother and I did. 

Congrats, Grad!

Tatou O I Ioritana

"We talked all night about the rest of our lives

Where are we gonna be when we turn twenty-five?"- Vitamin C, 'Graduation Song'

December 5th, 2013: After receiving our Secondary School Graduation Certificates, with my two high school besties, Isabella and Jasmine J (remember those monikers they'd dish out if you had the same name as another kid in class, lol?)

Tomorrow, the high school I graduated from- and which I now teach at- will have its Prizegiving and Graduation Ceremonies. I'm feeling super nostalgic for two reasons. 

Firstly, wow! "Another lot", as I used to hear my father say at the end of every academic year. The senior graduating class is one I've taught English and History to for two years. Over the year-and-a-half we've spent together, we've developed a great dynamic. Everyone speaks their mind, whilst keeping in mind that, as I said, EVERYONE speaks their mind. That is, have your say, but know that others will also have theirs. For me, this fosters an appreciation for open communication, and a respect for others, which will last these young people a lifetime. With uni, work and whatever else they may choose to do looming just on the horizon, I have every hope that they will go out into the big wide world with love, compassion and resilience. That they will make space for others to grow and succeed. And that, as they navigate the vast ocean that is the 'outside world' (lol), they'll be able to say they learned a thing or two from us, their teachers. 😭

Secondly: it's the ten year anniversary of my own high school graduation! Where did the bloody time go? This time a decade ago, I was among my classmates, cleaning and decorating the SDA Youth Hall. It was a lot of work, but we were so excited to finally be graduating. We did flower arrangements, changed the seating arrangements eighteen million times, got mini-mini heart attacks every time a balloon popped (and then ended up going to look for more white balloons at midnight!), and then watched midnight turn into early morning as we sang our hearts out to the gentle strumming of an old guitar. I still remember the songs we sang: Cups (by Anna Kendrick), and Ou Te Ofo Ina Atu A'u Nei Mo 'Oe (as sung by Punialava'a). I know, nostalgia galore! 

At work today I watched as the various prizes were being organized and readied for presentation tomorrow. I can imagine the anxiousness that some kids are probably wrestling with right now. "Did I do well enough?" "Am I getting that top prize like I did last year?" "Are my parents going to be satisfied with my effort this year?" "What's going to happen to me if they aren't...?" Lots and lots of questions, and even we as teachers certainly don't have all the answers. Not to your questions, and definitely not to a lot of our own. We are all human, at the end of the (long!) day. I'll be honest here- there are still errors I made on some of my final exams in 2013 that I regret, to this day, and think back to, often. No matter that I have enjoyed much success after high school, and in my professional life. Silly things I said as a teenager, graphs I didn't construct neatly enough, maps I misread, calculations I went over multiple times and still got completely wrong...those come back every once in a while to check in on me and remind me that before this, there was THAT. I was THAT. And no matter what any student is NOW, we cannot say that they won't go on to have wildly successful, extremely productive, wonderfully fulfilling lives. 

That cliche Samoan proverb is right. E toe oso fo'i le la. The sun will rise again tomorrow. It has never once failed to rise- even on a cloudy day, Mr. Sun is there, you just can't quite see him very well. Where there's daylight, Sol is smiling. And even in the densest darkness, if there's a little light, there is always, always hope. 

Who Do You Think You Are? Part II

They Call Her 'Alayo'

"Alayo", he said. "One for whom bread is not enough."

-A Raisin in the Sun, Lorraine Hansberry

When I remember my first trip to Europe, I remember, more than anything, the various emotions that I felt on the way and whilst there. It's like that, I think, with most things in my life. I remember events, places and people based on how they make me feel.

After overcoming that initial laundry hurdle from Part I of this story, I was faced with what I can only describe in the words of Po, reluctant Dragon Warrior: my old enemy. Not stairs (well, yes stairs, but not so much!). No. My old enemy is social awkwardness! I know, I know. I have three/four jobs, ALL of which require daily interaction with people both virtually and IRL. Word to the wise: Socializing more and working more with people DOES improve social anxiety, but it often does not 'cure' it. I'm using the word 'cure' here because it best describes the kind of social awkwardness and anxiety that I have.

I still recall the first day of the conference. Curators, Vice Curators and other executive members from Global Shapers Hubs all around the world were lining up to register for the summit. As I descended the staircase to join them, I could hear them chattering away about checking into their rooms, meeting their roommates (omg!) and picking up their welcome packs. I was a little sad to be leaving the room I had had to myself for my first two nights in Geneva. Of course, there was also a little pang of excitement as I went to see where they were going to move me. That registration line was one of the most transformative experiences of my life. I've never before been in such a happy, welcoming environment! Everyone, and I mean, EVERYONE, was saying 'hello' like old, long-lost high school friends. Sometimes, interactions in these kinds of spaces can feel forced or pressured. However, there was absolutely none of that in any of the queues we stood in. Despite our jet-lag, several missing bags, and even a mistaken room number or two, everyone was so thrilled to meet people with similar ambitions and challenges.

When the Summit first kicked off, they allocated participants into smaller groups called Purpose Circles. We'd meet every morning, between sessions, and every evening, before going back to our hotel. As the name probably suggests, the Purpose Circles were to help connect Shapers on a human, personal level. They were to provide a 'base' that we could come back to for moral support as well as, hey, just people to eat lunch with :) This is such a gift for a socially awkward, anxious person like myself who is still learning to be comfortable in crowds. Our purpose circle comprised of eight Curators/ Vice Curtaors: Alliance (from a hub China), Madhav (from a hub in India), myself (from the one and onlyyyy hub in Samoa), Emmanuel (from a hub in Nigeria), Madai (from a hub in Mexico), Bengu (from a hub in Canada), Anastasija (from a hub in Serbia), and Joel Dean (from a hub in Jamaica). Our leader was Thales, a former Shaper, from Brazil. Each Purpose Circle had a number- ours was '45'. 

When I was growing up, the youth at church used to sing this beautiful song: The Circle of Friends. Attending the Global Shapers Summit 2023 and meeting people from all walks of life, all manner of nationalities and cultural as well as religious backgrounds, has made this a reality for me. I remember eating lunch with Madhav, Emmanuel and, surprise, one of my wantoks from P.N.G: Kurere. As we searched for a shady spot to eat and look out over Lake Geneva, Madhav asked us, "have you guys read The Alchemist?" We then all said at the same time, I kid you not- "The universe conspired to help me find you!"


What a beautiful testament to our shared humanity. To the commonness of our love for learning, for art, for friendship, for sharing. That four complete strangers from four supposedly dissimilar and geographically distant parts of the world should say the exact same quote from the exact same book at the exact same time is proof that humanity is capable of so much magic and beauty. And that the universe still conspires, every day, to help us love and heal and grow.

Emmanuel and I, after a great afternoon of discussing books, books, books, and how awesomely cool the European summer is compared to the saunas that we call home. #Nigeria #Samoa

One amazing thing I learned about my new friend Emmanuel, from Nigeria, is that he too is crazy about literature! Lit lovers are a dangerous combo if you don't wanna hear about books, books, and more books...for three hours straight! And by books, I mean, we know every theme, quote, plot point...publisher's name! What a brilliant thing it is to be drinking apple juice and analyzing Chinua Achebe in the middle of Europe! From Achebe, we naturally progressed to talking about the Foundation N.U.S staple, A Raisin in the Sun. It's the best friend and worst enemy of so, so many young people who take HEN005 (Introduction to Literature) in Samoa. It has also been one of my forever loves. A play that speaks life and power into dry bones. When Emmanuel told us he was a Yoruba, just like Joseph Asagai, I knew I had to ask him for the actual meaning of that famed (and majestic!) nickname Joe gave Beneatha. "Alayo". According to the play, it is supposed to mean, "one for whom bread is not enough." It's intended as a compliment to Beneatha's stubbornness and independence. She was, after all, a Black woman in 1950s America who dreamed of becoming a doctor and marrying for love. She was told to give up, to shut up, to settle down, to calm down. In a world where women are faced with so many ups-and-downs, imposed, often, by others, Joseph sees and admires Beneatha's refusal to be shut down or locked up. "What does Alayo MEAN?" I asked my new friend. "You hear things in more depth when they are spoken in your native language. I know Lorraine Hansberry was an American. But you are a Yoruba. So, you must tell me, please, what do you hear, when they say, ALAYO?"

Emmanuel smiled. He's a lawyer and a tech developer and marketer. Witty, wise, thoughtful, and very mindful- as most young people from former colonies are- of the reverence that our indigenous languages deserve. "Alayo," he finally answered, "is not a name that can be summarized in one or even a hundred sentences. It is too full of meaning, too deep and too wide, for any single definition. You can't, you know, contain it!" He was going to apologize to me for giving what he thought must be a limited definition. I stopped him. "That," I said, "is the best thing I've ever heard." And then I told him and Madhav I wished I could change my name to Alayo😂

Over that weekend, I met so many amazing young people who are changing the world for the better. Some had flown out of active war zones just to be there. Just to tell their stories, and to hear the stories of others. I estimate that seventy percent of the people I said hello to had no idea where (or what!) Samoa even is. I'm a proud Samoan. That was a humbling and eye-opening few days for me. Perhaps this is kinda what the Overview Experience is like for astronauts? I remember a retired astronaut once said, "you look out...everything you've ever known is there. It fits right behind your thumb. It's amazing, You can even cry!"

The world is a massive melting pot of stories, hopes, dreams, fears...Of all the attempts there ever have been to define what it means to be a human being, I will always like best the one I have taken from my friend Emmanuel's respect and understanding of his language. Humanity is so broad, so powerful, so ambitious, so full of strife. The moment you accept your greatness, but also your smallness, you take the first and most crucial step in celebrating the diverse magnificence of the race that we all belong to: the human race.